friendhip

Someone actually remind me about friendship.
he said. no matter how hard is your life and how u important u actually put "inrelationship" at the first place, please, dont ever forget about friendship and the love of family.

when he told me how he treat his friendship in life, my tears drop down.
I envy. I had best friends who with me for ten years more in my life. But because of distance,
out relationship become far far away.
I miss the moment both of us can support us no matter how hard is our life.
I miss the moment we can have deep talk whenever we met each other.
I miss the moment we can hug and cry,laugh so hard whwnever we met.

I cried,because I had lost all of these.
I had a bestfriend who always stand by me...
but now....... no longer we are just normal friend who only just say ''hi'' and ''bye''

whenever he told me how important friendship in our life, i felt so hurt.
='(
friendship. It had been a long time i never really look at it.
because I know, when I look at it, it actually will hurt me a lot.
I miss.
I miss the person who I used to be.
Always had a friend beside of me. Always put friend at first place.
Always always and always.
but now,who actually will come to me when I wanted to share my feelings?
no one... sometimes I really upset...

Classmates , who are actually very stranger to me.... I tried.. I tried to be closer with them...
But it doesnt work...
a group of bestfriend who same class with me, I lost them because we are different class now..
Friendship...
I miss all my friends..
since when? I only put LOVE at the first place and I keep avoiding friendship?
since when? I change to a person that I got no friend?
I remember I was a person who awarded by friend that I love friends more than myself.
But now...? I am afraid of friendship =(
I am so afraid.  why Am i blaming so much...?
okay... I can be better.... I can own back my life!!! which is colorful life!!!!
I must have my own life!!!! YES I CAN!!!!